So... I might not have mentioned that on top of this arctic tundra mountain top was a thriving and verdant jungle biome? And that the city of Ustraternes was a massive partly floating ruin?
Super weird. Anyhow.
After beating the snot out of that snake woman, the group doubled back and caught up with Darge. We then headed deep into the jungle on a mission to reach Ustraternes. With a bit of luck, we would find the magic relic we are looking for and could be back down the mountain by dinnertime.
On our way, we came across a burned-down village full of wailing lizardfolk. The lizardfolk told us that a bunch of them had been made captive and taken to Ustraternes for god knows what evil purpose. We managed to persuade the lizardfolk that they should come with us (cannon fodder!).
We eventually came to Ustraternes and were faced with a choice - do we kick in the front door or find an alternative route? No choice really, especially when you're group is lead by Anders the brave.
So anyway, we kick in the front door and start blasting.
Being the absolute badasses that we are, our enemies start dropping like flies. Spell slots and Ki are used with gay abandon and the corpses of our enemies soon fill the streets.
Upon entering the city we find the streets bizarrely underpopulated. Until that is, we round a bend and find a whole freaking army waiting for us. This army looks to be strategically placed to funnel us onto a rope bridge that leads to a keep - we happily comply but not before the magic users burn a few last spell slots.
Normally, this would be an ideal time for a short nap. The warlock was out of spell slots, and Anders only had 1 Ki left. Unfortunately, the front door of an enemy keep is not a safe place for a sleep. So we put on our big kid pants and kept moving.
Inside the keep, we found a frickin awesome scene. Our DM had carved a palace throne room out of black polystyrene, with battery-powered led lights. In the throne room were that clown Bejak, the snake lady, and a bunch of tielflings.
Bejak starts to say something but nobody gives a dam about the flapping of his stupid face. We have one mission. Grind him into meal and take the relic. For the good of the realm.
Super weird. Anyhow.
After beating the snot out of that snake woman, the group doubled back and caught up with Darge. We then headed deep into the jungle on a mission to reach Ustraternes. With a bit of luck, we would find the magic relic we are looking for and could be back down the mountain by dinnertime.
On our way, we came across a burned-down village full of wailing lizardfolk. The lizardfolk told us that a bunch of them had been made captive and taken to Ustraternes for god knows what evil purpose. We managed to persuade the lizardfolk that they should come with us (cannon fodder!).
We eventually came to Ustraternes and were faced with a choice - do we kick in the front door or find an alternative route? No choice really, especially when you're group is lead by Anders the brave.
So anyway, we kick in the front door and start blasting.
Being the absolute badasses that we are, our enemies start dropping like flies. Spell slots and Ki are used with gay abandon and the corpses of our enemies soon fill the streets.
Upon entering the city we find the streets bizarrely underpopulated. Until that is, we round a bend and find a whole freaking army waiting for us. This army looks to be strategically placed to funnel us onto a rope bridge that leads to a keep - we happily comply but not before the magic users burn a few last spell slots.
On the bridge, Anders finds a child in solider's armour who missed the memo to assemble down the street. Now, Anders is a craven, pompous git, but he ain't no child killer. He gave the kid a chance to flee and the clever little scrotum took it.
Once the whole crew was assembled on his side of the bridge, we took one last look at the lizardfolk dying valiantly to a man. We then cut the ropes to prevent that big-ass army from following us.
Once the whole crew was assembled on his side of the bridge, we took one last look at the lizardfolk dying valiantly to a man. We then cut the ropes to prevent that big-ass army from following us.
Normally, this would be an ideal time for a short nap. The warlock was out of spell slots, and Anders only had 1 Ki left. Unfortunately, the front door of an enemy keep is not a safe place for a sleep. So we put on our big kid pants and kept moving.
Inside the keep, we found a frickin awesome scene. Our DM had carved a palace throne room out of black polystyrene, with battery-powered led lights. In the throne room were that clown Bejak, the snake lady, and a bunch of tielflings.
Bejak starts to say something but nobody gives a dam about the flapping of his stupid face. We have one mission. Grind him into meal and take the relic. For the good of the realm.
And that's exactly what nearly happened...
The thing is. All that punching and blasting we did earlier really meant that we were in poor shape at the start of this fight. Anders did what he could, flinging himself into the middle of the carnage. Unconfirmed third-party accounts describe him as being like a tornado that just tore through a field of fists before being unleashed on a room of toddlers.
But eventually, even Anders dropped to overwhelming odds.
Tasmin the warlock was limited to using eldritch blast, which was still effective in this situation. Until that is, she was pinned into melee combat with one of the Tieflings.
An almost identical thing happened to Tannis, who attempted with some success to snipe from the edges with his bow but eventually got pinned without both swords drawn.
Saul found himself with almost zero cover in the palace setting. He was limited to pot shots without advantage or any sneak attacks.
Finally, Darge ran away for much of the fight. He did manage to get a nicely timed potion to Anders before the true death took him.
The fight was a grind, but eventually, we wore them down. Bejak ended up running away when his health was low, and the snake lady took an arrow to the dome.
With the palace clear, we had the simple and perfectly safe job of removing the relic and going home.
The thing is. All that punching and blasting we did earlier really meant that we were in poor shape at the start of this fight. Anders did what he could, flinging himself into the middle of the carnage. Unconfirmed third-party accounts describe him as being like a tornado that just tore through a field of fists before being unleashed on a room of toddlers.
But eventually, even Anders dropped to overwhelming odds.
Tasmin the warlock was limited to using eldritch blast, which was still effective in this situation. Until that is, she was pinned into melee combat with one of the Tieflings.
An almost identical thing happened to Tannis, who attempted with some success to snipe from the edges with his bow but eventually got pinned without both swords drawn.
Saul found himself with almost zero cover in the palace setting. He was limited to pot shots without advantage or any sneak attacks.
Finally, Darge ran away for much of the fight. He did manage to get a nicely timed potion to Anders before the true death took him.
The fight was a grind, but eventually, we wore them down. Bejak ended up running away when his health was low, and the snake lady took an arrow to the dome.
With the palace clear, we had the simple and perfectly safe job of removing the relic and going home.
Nek minute the ancient floating city of Ustraternes is slowly losing power and falling to the ground. Tannis quickly picks up the fallen body of Totara (he's fine!) and we follow down the rope ladder Bejak had used.
As we walked down the mountain towards home, the city of Ustraternes groans and cracks as it plummets towards the ground. Already the verdant jungle biome is dying off. But we don't really notice or care too much because knowing stuff is for nerds.
We get a hero's welcome in the village at the bottom of the mountain and prepare for our triumphant return to Arabel.
As we walked down the mountain towards home, the city of Ustraternes groans and cracks as it plummets towards the ground. Already the verdant jungle biome is dying off. But we don't really notice or care too much because knowing stuff is for nerds.
We get a hero's welcome in the village at the bottom of the mountain and prepare for our triumphant return to Arabel.
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